Yes, I know... I have neglected you for far too long.
Here we go...
I got a letter from BYU yesterday
:]
My application was denied.
I have so many reasons, excuses, and gripes
but I thought about this more rationally today
it's alright
I don't need BYU
there are plenty of other schools out in this vast world
though I would still like to be a cougar.
I'm really confused right now. I don't know what to do, where to go, or how to begin to pick up the pieces of my shattered academic career.
This is hard for me; I've been working and praying and trying to find my way for the past 2+ years and I thought I had something. Come to find out that it was just thrown back in my face.
Feels great.
This has caused me to take a step back and assess myself.
Many a tear was shed last night, not just over the ill decision BYU made, but at other aspects of my life as well.
Mostly family stuff, dating stuff, work, school, money, church... all that wonderful jazz.
I'm feeling pretty sad right now.
Dumb
Lost
Inadequate
Like I've let down... well... pretty much everyone, mostly myself.
I want to make my parents proud, but I haven't given them anything to be proud of.
I'm 19 1/3 years old... I'm not in school. I work 8-5 M-F. I've been stood up on more dates than I've actually been out on. My social life is comparable to that of a rock.
I feel like running away to Mexico or something.
Just clear out my savings account and disappear.
I'll buy a toothbrush when I get there.
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2 comments:
I'm sorry! If it makes you feel any better, I'm not so happy now either because although this would be considered something amazing if it happened to anyone else, given my circumstances it forces me to change my ways even though I've been perfectly fine with them- my family got a dog. And she chews everything! And tries to bite! Yes, she's just a puppy but it's not doing much for my fears! Her name is Sammie, short for Samantha (like I Am Legend).
Ah, screw BYU. J/k. I'm sorry.
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